The last time I wrote about pivoting, it was in the midst of COVID–2020. I wrote an article for a local, small newspaper about the idea of pivoting the way business was conducted to accommodate COVID closing, restrictions, etc. My dad loved the article. But, in general, he loved all of my articles simply because he was my dad and under some sort of obligation to say he loved my writing…
Here I am, almost 4 years later. Life has changed immensely (my Dad isn’t here to read this post). Business has changed immensely. The concept of pivoting has not changed…but the process has.
Last year, at this time, I had a plan rooted deeply in the confidence that could only come after a solid two years of continual change, adaptation and hard work with a trustworthy and dependable teammate. But just a few months into 2023, everything changed. Someone once said, “Change is inevitable, growth is optional. Choose wisely.” But, it soon became clear that this change, albeit inevitable, was about as welcome as an embarrassing infestation of termites in a log home. The change was barely noticeable at first but soon there were tiny telltale signs– the dust, the occasional sightings, the tiny holes. By the time I realized what was happening, it was a full-blown infestation and the damage was done. Like the termite infested foundation of a home, the confidence that had been the impetus for making long term plans was suddenly no longer solid, no longer stable and no longer reliable. And so I began to pivot.
The pivot began with learning to let go. I had to let go of my plan; I had to give up on that beautiful vision in my head. But the hardest “let-go” was letting go of an unwavering trust in anyone beside myself and learning to live with the facts: the only person who owes you anything or has your back 100%, is you. Loyalty is really nothing more than a concept the heart and head desperately want to believe in to address an insecurity we publicly deny having. When tested, learning that loyalty isn’t real can be devastating. When my reality smacked me hard in the face, I had to think about whether or not I even wanted to continue operating my businesses or if I wanted to just throw in the invisible towel that has been hanging just within reach, looming like the most undesirable option because it would mean I was giving up; that I was a failure.
There were as many reasons to throw in the towel as there were to stand up, dust myself off and keep going but the latter was my choice and it was the harder of the two options. I didn’t burn the house down, I pivoted and attempted to rebuild by salvaging bits and pieces where and when I could. It is a slow going process.
In rebuilding, I continue to learn more lessons on almost a weekly basis. For the last few months, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about retirement and what it will look like. Instead of feeling obligated to keep building a business to pass a proverbial torch, I am now focused on making the business as strong and successful as possible so that it can be sold for a profit. I am feeling less and less passionate about staying connected to the business ten years from now; when it’s time to go, I want to sell and be done with it. No strings attached.
I am no longer an open book. I consciously close the cover or turn the page in order to keep part of myself closed off. Not everyone deserves full access to me, my friendship or my generosity.
I’ve learned that it is possible to pretend termites don’t exist in my everyday life. But I’m no longer embarrassed to admit that they once caused a lot of problems and to discuss the extent of the damage with my family and friends. The funny thing is that a lot of my family and friends have had issues with termites themselves –in a manner of speaking. Most people validate my feelings, agreeing with how frustrating they are and acknowledging how devastating the damage can be. Others refer to them as the sneaky, point out how ugly the are and offer to come step on them (these are the same friends who will help me hide a body should I ever need to).
Daily, I remind myself that the termites aren’t gone; there are still signs of them and , when unmanaged, they sneak into the smallest places and build nests. When it’s quiet, I can hear them. Occasionally, someone says they’ve noticed them or seen signs of the damage. Pest control is ongoing as is the pivot of 2024; I’ll keep you posted.
200 Chairs 